Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
