my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize