the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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