I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
