I am in a vortex of obligation.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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