i don't like sucking hair
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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