I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
farters have to be the big spoon...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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