Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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