dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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