Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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