I bet he comes in French.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Randomize
