Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
