I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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