i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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