Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
