just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize