No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize