After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
