dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize