i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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