dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
