we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
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No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize