kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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