sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
