NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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