The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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