i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
