So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
