i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
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I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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