yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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