Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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