I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
