hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
ugly people sure do ruin things
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize