Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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