Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
