did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
