Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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