i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize