***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
