before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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