apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
