I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
