Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
