people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize