I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
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So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
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I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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