remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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