let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
