maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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