Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
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She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
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I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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