the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
