it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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