if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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