Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
