She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
