i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
