Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
