mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He passed out mid-signature
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
