what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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