I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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